Fussy Baby

Jonah is now three weeks old, and it has been the longest and shortest three weeks of my life. My days have run together, and I am sad to think of how much sleep I've had these last three weeks. About a week and a half ago, Jonah started rooting to eat constantly. I would stop feeding him, and he would begin rooting right away. Or he'd fall asleep eating, I'd try to put him down, he'd start to cry and want to eat. The doctor and nurses had originally told me to feed him on demand, and since we had finally gotten ahold of breast feeding, it wasn't an issue and I indulged him. It really got out of hand though. I was exhausted all the time, never had time to eat, and never felt like I had enough milk for him. To make matters worse, I was becoming increasingly more sore and actually dreaded him latching. He started throwing fits, kicking his legs like crazy and straining hard to pass gas or a bowel movement. He also started getting hiccups regularly and throwing up after some feedings. It was terrible. It seemed like nothing Aaron or I did helped. He was keeping me up all night feeding and didn't sleep much during the day. I read that he should be sleeping between 16-22 hours a day, but he was sleeping maybe 7-9 (day-time naps and night sleeping combined!). I also wasn't able to pump hardly any milk because Jonah was draining me of it, and I was stressed because I have to go back to work on Monday. One day we went grocery shopping, and I felt light-headed and my legs started shaking. That's when I knew I had reached my breaking point. Aaron would come home from work and take him, and I'd just cry. Partly from the relief, and partly from the exhaustion. My mom convinced me to call the pediatrician, and they said he might have colic. I was told to stop feeding him on demand and start feeding him every three hours. We were also told to give him gas drops, keep him moving when he's crying, and let him cry sometimes when we couldn't comfort him. I had also read about the benefits of gripe water. So, starting yesterday we have been giving him gas drops at every feeding. We also give him gripe water any time he gets hiccups, which takes them away instantly. He goes to sleep a lot easier at night, and for the most part has stopped throwing up. He just spits up a little bit now. He is still pretty fussy at times, but it doesn't take him that long to console him. I hope this means he is on the road to recovery and it won't last long. I feel so bad for my poor baby. I hate to hear him cry. I started to get stressed when I couldn't calm him down yesterday, and I put him in his crib for a minute so that my anxiety didn't transfer to him, and all I could do was cry listening to him. It was awful. After five minutes I picked him up, rocked him, and sang to him, and he went right to sleep.

The upside to constant nursing for the week and a half is that the supply/demand system of breast feeding means I have a TON of milk now and have already created a huge stockpile of milk in just 24 hours! The downside is that I have a ton of milk. If he takes a bottle, I still have to pump because I become engorged and it feels like I have the flu. I can't imagine what it'll be like when I try to dry up. I also need to check to make sure I'm not leaking on my clothes, because that would be incredibly embarrassing. One thing I forgot to mention in my last post was how incredibly ravenously hungry and thirsty I was after delivery. It seemed like the whole time we were in the hospital I was drinking water and either eating, thinking about eating, or asking someone to bring me food. Not much has changed since I got home, due to breast feeding. I just hope I can figure out a nice balance or a nutritious diet that will give him and I what we need and keep me from either gaining a million pounds or developing a bad habit I will have a hard time breaking once I'm done nursing.

Speaking of weight, I have just 8 pounds to lose before I am back at pre-pregnancy weight! I tried on my pre-pregnancy jeans two weeks after delivery and they fit! They are a bit more snug than they were before, but my maternity pants are too loose, so this is great! I will be glad to get the go-ahead to exercise at my six week post-partum appointment, because I have about 25 pounds to lose to be at my goal weight (which may be unachievable, as I haven't been there since high school when I played soccer). But, nevertheless, I want to be much healthier and in better shape before we try for baby #2, if we decide to have another.

Aaron's parents came to visit today and were so awesome and watched Jonah while Aaron and I went to lunch together. It was really nice to get out of the house just the two of us, but I worried about him the whole time. Of course I knew he was fine with them, but I guess it's just maternal instinct. It was really nice visiting with them, and Jonah was actually pretty calm the whole time they were here! Poor Sophie freaked out though and jumped all over them. When other people hold Jonah, she acts like all our rules are out the window and she can do whatever she wants (like try to lick him). It's frustrating.

Aaron is making dinner, and it is almost done, so I'm going to post a few pictures and end this.

I love this picture because I think he looks like he is up to no good. He also looks just like my dad or brother Danny! I'm glad to see I'm in there somewhere!

Happy Baby!

I think he looks like a troll doll here, but is so stinking cute!

Sleep Boy!

I love his faces!

Jonah Aaron

The last two weeks have gone by in such a whirlwind, I can't even believe it! I'll try to remember the big details.

Somewhere in my 39th week I started spotting. It wasn't a lot, but it was every day for a few days. One day I hadn't felt Jonah move hardly at all, and I got concerned and called the doctor. He said that the bleeding was probably just a sign that he'd be coming soon, and that I should drink a coke and lie down to see if the sugar allowed me to feel him. I did a kick count, and everything was ok. I wasn't sure I believed he'd be coming soon since two different doctors said he'd probably come in my 41st week.

I woke up at 8am the morning of February 18 to make Aaron breakfast, but I was so tired afterwards that I went back to bed until about 11. I got up, went into the living room, where my mom and I sat around watching a show about hauntings on TV, and had some breakfast. Around 12:30 I experienced a weird sensation in my lower back. It felt just like a strong menstrual cramp, but I thought nothing of it. A little while later I felt another one. I asked my mom if she thought they could be contractions. I honestly didn't think they could be, because at this point I had given up hope that he'd be born on time. She said yes though! She got up and wrote down the times of my two contractions, and from there we continued to time them. Around 3pm I was having at least six in an hour, so I showered and we went to the doctor. The doctor said I was only 2 cm dilated, and since my contractions weren't 4-5 minutes apart, it was pointless to go to the hospital. I had an appointment scheduled with him for the next day, and he even made it seem like he'd see me then. He actually made me feel kind of stupid to think I was in labor at all. Disappointed, we went back home. Aaron got home around 5:15, and he sat with me and timed my contractions. My mom made us something to eat, and we just watched TV and tried to relax. Then around 8 pm, they were 4-5 minutes apart. We called the on-call doctor, and he said to head into the hospital so he could check me out. We left the house at 8:48pm for St. Mary's Hospital.

When we got there, they put us in this tiny room. Aaron and I were so bummed out because it was not at all like the rooms they showed us on our tour. They checked me again, and I was 3+ cm dilated. They hooked up my IV, and we sat for awhile longer. Then they took us to the actual labor and delivery room! Thankfully we did get a nice room. They hooked me up to the contraction and fetal heart rate monitors. I had no idea how many things I'd be attached to. It was so awkward, and I remember thinking that if my labor got really intense, I might get tangled in them all. My contractions continued to get stronger. They unhooked me from the monitors, and Aaron and I walked around the hall for awhile. It was getting hard to walk with my contractions coming so regularly.

I got back into bed, and it was pretty late, so Aaron tried to take a nap. My mom sat by me and kept me company while I labored. After awhile my contractions were coming back to back, and they were lasting a very long time. One was over 2.5 minutes long, followed immediately by another one! Although I had sworn I'd deliver naturally, I just wanted a break, so I asked for an epidural. They had to start me on liquids, and then the doctor came in. He said he didn't know if it'd work because it looked like I had a lot of scar tissue in my back. I wasn't sure it'd work because my contractions were so strong that I couldn't sit still. Eventually he got it in, and I began to feel relief within a few minutes. The nurse checked me and said I was completely effaced and 8cm dilated. I waited that long to get the epidural! I couldn't believe it worked that late. As soon as my legs were totally numb, maybe 20-30 minutes later, the nurses came rushing in because my contractions were making the baby's heart rate go down. She checked me again, and just then my water broke, and the baby's head was right there! I was ready to push! I couldn't believe how quick it happened! Had I known it was going to be so short, I would have reconsidered the epidural. I was glad to have no pain in the last stretch though. When my water broke it felt like a water balloon broke inside of me. It was so bizarre. Aaron got up and came over, and my mom left the room. They woke the doctor up, and he came in. I pushed through maybe six contractions, and although his head was very close to coming out, the doctor said I needed an episiotomy. He had to cut about an inch and a half, and then Jonah came right out! Pushing was not at all like I thought it'd be. I pushed so hard that I thought every blood vessel in my face would burst, and then they'd tell me to take a breath and push again. It was exhausting. But, our beautiful baby boy was born at 3:11 am, weighing 7 lbs 1 oz and measuring 20 inches long.

He cried a lot at first, and I was afraid that was a sign of what was to come. He is such a good baby though! They did his APGAR, both of which he scored a 9, and cleaned him up a bit. Aaron got to hold him for awhile. Then they put him on my chest, and we did Kangaroo Care. I nursed him for the first time, and my mom got to hold him, then they took him to the nursery to bathe him and finish whatever they had to do. My mom left the hospital around 5:30 am to go back home and get some rest. There was a pullout couch in the room for Aaron. He slept, but I was too excited to get much rest. Jonah came back in the room, and I did Kangaroo Care with him almost the whole time we were in the hospital. It was my favorite thing to do, and he was so calm. He only cried when he was ready to eat, or sometimes if I put him down to get some rest. I didn't sleep much Friday during the day or Friday night. They kept Jonah in the nursery and brought him to me every 3 hours to eat, and I did sleep some in between, but I was still so exhausted from labor that I didn't feel rested in the morning at all. Aaron's parents came to visit Saturday, and so did our friend Heather. Saturday night Aaron went home to get some rest, and I tried to keep Jonah with me. Jonah did not want me to put him down, and I was too afraid to sleep with him on my chest, so I barely slept Saturday night. Eventually a nurse came in and took him to the nursery so I could get a few hours of sleep. I felt bad sending him away, but I was so exhausted. Sunday we got to go home! Jonah weighed 6 lbs 12 oz when we left.

Going home!

Jonah had his first pediatrician appointment on Tuesday, and it went very well. He said Jonah was doing very well, and he weighted 7 lbs!

Jonah was a breast feeding pro in the hospital, but Sunday night my milk came in, and he was no longer good at it. We had a very hard time nursing for a few days, making for long sleepless nights and cracked and very sore nipples. I was heartbroken and thought for sure I was a terrible mother. I cried, because I thought I'd have to switch to pumping and miss out on the amazing bonding experience with him. Eventually I called the lactation nurse for an outpatient consultation. I didn't expect breast feeding to be something he and I both had to learn together! Since the meeting, he has successfully latched every time!

My mom stayed in town for a week, which was awesome. She helped around the house, showed us how to bathe him, and took him for me while I showered or napped. The first week was very tiring. We are now on our second day home alone, just the two of us, and he's been great. He is such a blessing. He still only cries when he's hungry for the most part. He wasn't sleeping well at all, and I was up all night a lot. The night before last though we decided to start dimming the lights before bed, massaging him with calming lotion, swaddling him, and letting him swing to sleep. We slept very well that night. Last night we did the same, although he didn't want to swing. He did sleep for 6 hours straight though. He does not like to sleep in his crib though, so hopefully he will learn to like it if we keep trying. I hope him sleeping so well continues!

I am doing ok. I am still pretty sore from the episiotomy and pretty tired all of the time, but I feel much better than I did in the hospital. As time goes on, I know it will get better. The soreness and exhaustion doesn't pale in comparison to how happy he makes me anyway.

I love to watch him. He has the greatest facial expressions. He looks so much like Aaron sometimes, and then a lot like my brothers or dad at other times. He is so sweet. He has the most intoxicating smell too and the softest skin. I just want to cuddle him all day. I wish my family didn't live so far away so they could meet and spend time with him. I'll post a few more pictures, and then I am going to nurse and cuddle with him.

Aaron introducing him to the animals. The cats just sniff him every once and awhile. Roxanne tries to sleep with him a lot recently. Sophie tries to lick him constantly. She's very protective of Jonah and will guard him from the cats and the vacuum.

My favorite picture of him!